Treat Me Like My Dog
Whispering in a Westie's ear...
A friend of mine once remarked, "In my next life, I want to come back as a dog in Gregory's house." Which is to say I treat my dogs like dogs - according to their nature - and not like little people. The best food possible - usually raw - clean water, space to run, the best vet even if I have to drive extra far, the best seat in the house for movie night, and as many long walks as they can soak up. Surrounding that is a very thick layer of love, affection, and no small amount of protection. What I get in return is far in excess of what I could possibly give.
A few years ago, Q and I had to make the hard choice to euthanasia one of our dogs. Ginger was in the prime of life, just eight years old. For a Westie, that's barely mid-life. It was an aggressive hemangiosarcoma. The condition doesn't generally cause pain, just a bit of discomfort that can be managed. The prognosis, however, is extremely poor. Less than two days after presenting symptoms, she was gone.
But Ginger's last days were good days. Just like all her other days.
We didn't do anything particularly special for her. Just cleared our calendars (amazing how easy that it when it matters) and spent our time together with her. We mostly read while Ginger slept, offered her food and water when she was awake or chaperoned her around the yard if she felt like exploring or visiting her favorite look-out perches to the world beyond the fence. I probably rubbed her cheeks and scratched her ears a little more than usual, though.
What occurred to me later were memories of several past friends or acquaintances and how they dealt with the loss of one of their dogs. The last days were frantic as they rushed to lavish all the special care and consideration they'd denied their dog all the days leading up to their passing. Special treats. Special food and as much as they wanted. Constant attention to the point of annoyance for the dog at the center of attention. (Sadly, I've watch as people do this to other people in their lives as well.)
What stopped them from treating their dog like that before the end? No doubt important things. It's easy to take important relationships for granted. None of us are innocent in this regard. But when the undeniably expected happens unexpectedly, an odd mix of sediment comes bubbling up to the surface - guilt, confusion, grief, denial, and more.
Five years out and I still miss that pup, too soon taken from our lives. It leaves a void not likely to ever be filled. Just resolved with time as we grow stronger and learn to carry the burden forward.
So treat me the way I treat my dogs and we're likely to become lifelong friends - according to my nature with love and affection. More importantly, take a moment and ring up a loved one and verbally "scratch their ears" for a few minutes, just to check in and say "Hello." I’ll leave you to it.
Photo: Ginger Snap Engel